Pornography has increasingly become a part of our society and unfortunately in many of our lives. 87% of young men and 31% of young women have reported consuming pornography. 67% of young men and 49% of young women perceive the consumption of pornography as acceptable (Carrol et al. 6). With the increasing usage and acceptance of pornography, it is important to look at the effects of pornography use on individuals and relationships.
Islamic perspective
Islamically, the Prophet (peace be upon him) has given us a clear verdict on this issue. He has told us:
“Allah fixed the very portion of adultery which a man will indulge in. There would be no escape from it. The adultery of the eye is the lustful look and the adultery of the ears is listening to voluptuous (song or talk) and the adultery of the tongue is licentious speech and the adultery of the hand is the lustful grip (embrace) and the adultery of the feet is to walk (to the place) where he intends to commit adultery and the heart yearns and desires which he may or may not put into effect.”
(Muslim: 2658a).
This classification of adultery goes against the very nature and character of a Muslim. Haya is a salient feature within Islam which leaves no room for the indulgence of filth like pornography.
However, is there scientific evidence for this as well? This essay will explore how the use of pornography by men effects their marriages in light of scientific literature.
Effects of Pornography
Research indicates that pornography use has negative effects on relationship and sexual satisfaction, has a negative correlation with sexual performance and can have a negative impact on the consumer’s spouse.
Marital and Sexual Dissatisfaction
Many studies have found a connection between the consumption of pornography and marital and sexual dissatisfaction.
In 1988, an experimental study made participants watch normal, non-violent pornography for one hour weekly for six weeks. It concluded, “After consumption of pornography, subjects reported less satisfaction with their intimate partners—specifically, with these partners’ affection, physical appearance, sexual curiosity, and sexual performance proper (Zilmann et al. 438).”
Additionally, a plethora of surveys have found a strong correlation between marital dissatisfaction and the consumption of pornography.
- A survey of 487 college men found that the more pornography a person consumes, the less likely they were to enjoy sex with a real-life partner and the more likely they were to deliberately conjure up images of pornography to remain aroused (Sun et al. 983).
- One study surveyed 20,000 ever-married adults. By comparing men who had not watched explicit content in the last year, it found that men who watched an x-rated film in the previous year were 60% more likely to be divorced, 80% more likely to have had an extra-marital affair, and 15% less likely to report that their marriage is very happy (Doran et al. 494).
- A study of 115 hypersexual men found that subjects who usually masturbated while watching pornography had a higher anxiety level, and they were less likely to form relationships or persevere in them once they formed them (Dwulit et al. 3).
- A survey of 531 adults found that participants who had ever had an extramarital affair were also more than 3.17 times as likely to have consumed internet pornography in the previous month (Stack et al. 83).
These studies show that there is a strong correlation between the consumption of pornography and dissatisfaction towards the relationship and sexual intimacy.
Sexual Dysfunction
Studies have also found significant correlation between the consumption of pornography and sexual dysfunction. One study was conducted by the United States Military. In this study, they surveyed participants regarding their usage of pornography and then examined the results in light of their medical reports. They found that individuals who preferred masturbation with pornography were significantly associated with erectile dysfunction. They also found that rates of erectile dysfunction increased in individuals who preferred pornography to real-life sex rather than individuals who preferred real-life sex to consuming pornography.
The study concludes, “The results convincingly demonstrate that men who prefer masturbation with pornography to partnered sex are at a significantly increased risk for having sexual dysfunction (Berger et al. 732).”
The Journal of Internet Banking and Commerce published research in which students with sexual performance problem and without them were asked about their interaction with pornography from spam email. They concluded that men who suffered with sexual performance problems were more likely to receive pornography containing spam email (93.3% vs 68.1%), open and read it (66.7% versus 14.1%) and purchase it (46.7 % vs. 4.9%) (Fogel et al. 1). These correlation studies heavily imply and suggest that there could be a causal relationship between the two and more experimental research needs to be done.
Effects on their wives
A woman whose husband is addicted to porn writes online, “I have been excluded, isolated, barred from intimacy with him. I have lost someone whom I thought was my best friend and most intimate companion in life (Doran et al. 490).”
Internet forums and therapy rooms are full of such sentiments from wives whose husbands have fallen prey to this vice. In many cases, the wives report feeling hurt, betrayed, rejected, abandoned, devastated, lonely, ashamed, isolated, humiliated and more. In many circumstances, such marriages end in divorce (Schneider 31).
Zillmann’s study showed us that men who consume pornography often criticize and are unsatisfied with their partner’s appearance (438). This often leads to their partners feeling insecure about themselves. A study of 308 young adult college women concluded that that the viewing of pornography by a participant’s partner had a negative effect on her self esteem (Stewart, 234).
Schneider mentioned that many partners experience a four step response upon the discovery that their partner views porn: (a) ignorance/denial (b) shock/discovery of cybersex activities, and (c) problem-solving attempts. Schneider concludes that if these attempts don’t work, the women enter a crisis stage and then start focusing on their own recovery (32).
Conclusion
The myth that pornography is harmless is absolutely false. Men who are looking to enjoy a happy married life need to work hard in quitting this evil as it will ruin the intimacy, happiness and barakah from their lives. They need to seek out help and ask Allah for forgiveness. May Allah protect us all from this evil and allow us to spend our lives eternally with our spouses in paradise.
Works Cited
Berger, Jonathan H, et al. “Survey of Sexual Function and Pornography.” Military Medicine, vol. 184, no. 11-12, 2019, pp. 731–737., doi:10.1093/milmed/usz079.
Carroll, Jason S., et al. “Generation XXX.” Journal of Adolescent Research, vol. 23, no. 1, 2008, pp. 6–30., doi:10.1177/0743558407306348.
Doran, Kirk, and Joseph Price. “Pornography and Marriage.” Journal of Family and Economic Issues, vol. 35, no. 4, 2014, pp. 489–498., doi:10.1007/s10834-014-9391-6.
Dwulit, Aleksandra Diana, and Piotr Rzymski. “The Potential Associations of Pornography Use with Sexual Dysfunctions: An Integrative Literature Review of Observational Studies.” Journal of Clinical Medicine, vol. 8, no. 7, 2019, p. 914., doi:10.3390/jcm8070914.
Joshua Fogel, and Sam Shlivko. “Consumers with Sexual Performance Problems and Spam E-Mail for Pornography.” Journal of Internet Banking and Commerce : JIBC, vol. 15, no. 1, ARRAY Development, 2010, p. 1–.
Schneider, Jennifer P. “Effects of Cybersex Addiction on the Family: Results of a Survey.” Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, vol. 7, no. 1-2, 2000, pp. 31–58., doi:10.1080/10720160008400206.
Stack, Steven, et al. “Adult Social Bonds and Use of Internet Pornography*.” Social Science Quarterly, vol. 85, no. 1, 2004, pp. 75–88., doi:10.1111/j.0038-4941.2004.08501006.x.
Stewart, Destin N., and Dawn M. Szymanski. “Young Adult Women’s Reports of Their Male Romantic Partner’s Pornography Use as a Correlate of Their Self-Esteem, Relationship Quality, and Sexual Satisfaction.” Sex Roles, vol. 67, no. 5-6, 2012, pp. 257–271., doi:10.1007/s11199-012-0164-0.
Sun, Chyng, et al. “Pornography and the Male Sexual Script: An Analysis of Consumption and Sexual Relations.” Archives of Sexual Behavior, vol. 45, no. 4, 2014, pp. 983–994., doi:10.1007/s10508-014-0391-2.
Zillmann, Dolf, and Jennings Bryant. “Pornography’s Impact on Sexual Satisfaction1.” Journal of Applied Social Psychology, vol. 18, no. 5, 1988, pp. 438–453., doi:10.1111/j.1559-1816.1988.tb00027.x.
Sheikh Abdullah Ayaz Mullanee is a scholar from the Greater Toronto Area. He is passionately involved in several initiatives around Toronto and is regularly invited to speak at youth and community based events. Shaykh Abdullah currently teaches at Khairul Ummah Academy and Mathabah Institute while conducting online classes for Lubab Academy’s Arabic Language program. He is also the editor in chief for ‘Bridging The Gap’, the official magazine for the Canadian Council of Muslim Theologians.
MashAllah well written and very informative. JzkhAllah khairun