As human beings, realities often set in later in life. After experimenting with all attractions and temptations, blindly following trends around us, succumbing to peer pressure, going through all temporary phases, each time thinking that the current phase is the absolute be all end all, eventually, many if not most human beings come to a type of realization. This realization can come after countless lifetime experiences. It can also be taught and authenticated through modern science like that of Psychology. That is, the reality behind what we as people perceive as happiness.
However, here we will discuss that before waiting for countless years to finally learn through life experiences, or going through the entire twelve years of school to finally learn by means of modern science taught in university, the exact same life lesson can be learnt much earlier from an even greater source that is beyond science or intellect. That source is none other than divine revelation. Divine revelation in the form of the Quran and Sunnah .
Overlaps Between Quranic Understanding of Happiness And That of Psychology
During a TEDx lecture which took place in Brookline, Massachusetts, renown psychiatrist Robert Waldinger shared the results of a 70-year-old study on adult development and lifelong satisfaction. He begins by sharing a survey of millennials wherein they were asked about their lifelong goals:
Over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50 percent of those same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous. We’re given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after in order to have a good life. Pictures of entire lives, of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them, those pictures are almost impossible to get.
It is of no coincidence that a Harvard qualified professor with decades of experience will come close to a conclusion indicated by the Quran and Sunnah. Allah says in chapter 102 of the Quran, Surah Takathur (Rivalry in Worldly Increase):
أَلْهَاكُمُ التَّكَاثُرُ- حَتَّىٰ زُرْتُمُ الْمَقَابِرَ
Competition in [worldly] increase diverts you. Until you visit the graveyards.
We are diverted from our actual purpose in this world when we’re completely occupied with competing with one another over wealth and status, neither of which will benefit us the day that our death approaches us unexpectedly. From the two goals most often desired by millennials, money and fame, we learn from the Quran that money is nothing but a means and certainly not the absolute end. As far as fame goes, the desire of a Muslim is to in fact stay away from fame. Showing off is in fact a type of ingratitude to Allah, as those who don’t possess will no longer be content with what they currently possess. And thereafter we realize the wisdom behind Islam discouraging us from pursuing fame. As it is said, “fame can be a flame.” The former is what most people run behind thinking it will be the solution to all pain and misery existing In life. Ironically, the latter is what’s often promoted by popular culture and pursued by youngsters as is evident through social media, resulting in higher rates of depression within the same age group.
Dr. Waldinger further on mentions a significant discovery of the 70-year study. Something that we already learn from the authentic Sunnah. He says:
It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they’re physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s, we wanted to look back at them at midlife and to see if we could predict who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian and who wasn’t. And when we gathered together everything we knew about them at age 50, it wasn’t their middle age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. And good, close relationships seem to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old. Our most happily partnered men and women reported, in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy.
What Dr. Waldinger shares directly correlates with what our Messenger (SAW) has said with regards to family relationships:
مَنْ سَرَّهُ أَنْ يُبْسَطَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ أَوْ يُنْسَأَ فِي أَثَرِهِ فَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ
He who is desirous that his means of sustenance should be expanded for him or his age may be lengthened, should join the tie of relationship . (Sahih Muslim, 2557)
Dr. Waldinger therefore agrees with Islam as far as the importance of family relationships are concerned. First and foremost, family relationships need to be intact. Whether they may be between parents and children or whether they may be between spouses. The Sharia (commandments from the Quran and Sunnah) is dedicated to maintaining and strengthening the bond between parents and children as well as between spouses. When marriages are healthy, families are healthy and in turn society will altogether be healthier. Dr. Waldinger in his lecture directly emphasizes the importance of relationships. Those relationships are not necessarily friendships but rather family relations. And as Muslims we believe that even before our relationship with family and friends comes our relationship with the one who in fact gave us our family and friends, Allah, the creator of the heavens and the Earth. The one who we believe we will inevitably meet and answer to one day.
Hedonic Vs. Eudaimonic Happiness
Psychologists have classified happiness into two categories. The first is that of hedonic happiness. Coming from hedonism. It is the pleasure experienced by fulfilling the demands of the id. A very short-lived pleasure only to be coupled with a type of bitterness. The type of short-lived pleasure people may get from receiving likes on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. A type of pleasure wherein the demand for previously less amounts eventually increase in order to attain the same level of satisfaction.
Through research, psychologists today have come to a conclusion that happiness has a set point. More money is unlikely to be the source of your happiness after your family income is at about the $75,000. People earning more than $10 million a year are only slightly more happy than those earning less (Lyubomirsky, Sheldon & Schkade, 2005). Psychologists will cite this as an example of hedonic adaptation. It is of no coincidence that our beloved Messenger (may peace be upon him) has alluded to the same hedonic adaptation when he said:
“ لَوْ أَنَّ لاِبْنِ آدَمَ وَادِيًا مِنْ ذَهَبٍ أَحَبَّ أَنْ يَكُونَ لَهُ وَادِيَانِ، وَلَنْ يَمْلأَ فَاهُ إِلاَّ التُّرَابُ، وَيَتُوبُ اللَّهُ عَلَى مَنْ تَابَ ”
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “If Adam’s son (any human being) had a valley full of gold, he would like to have two valleys, for nothing fills his mouth except dust. And Allah forgives him who repents to Him.”(Sahih al Bukhari, 6439)
The same hedonic adaptation can often take a very hideous form. People who seek pleasure through drugs or Pornography need either higher dosages or more extreme forms as the addiction carries on, to achieve the same high. Such is the ultimate danger of seeking pleasure that is hedonistic in nature. May Allah save us all.
The second category of happiness in psychological terms is that of Eudaimonic happiness. The type of happiness attained by means of leading a virtuous life. Where can we find the guide to living a virtuous life? When people have varying definitions of morality and virtue, then we certainly need to find consistent guidance in the form of revelation to define for us what is a virtuous life.
Research now suggests that living a life of virtue will lead to everlasting happiness. From where we can find this has not been specified by experts in this field. Which source of teachings can give us a better explanation of living a life of virtue than that of the Quran and Sunnah?
As Muslims we’re taught that the purpose of life is not in attaining dreams which we have no guarantee of achieving. The purpose of life is not in gaining attention or recognition from those around us, in fact we’re taught quite the contrary, which is to oppose the desire of being praised by people while striving to do virtuous acts for none other than Allah. Allah tells us the entire purpose of our existence in just one sentence. In Surah Dhariyaat (The Scattered Winds), chapter 51 in the Quran, verse number 56, Allah says:
وَمَا خَلَقْتُ الْجِنَّ وَالْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ
And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.
Everything that we do is in someway related to our submission to Allah. We begin our day with worship, waking up for Salatul Fajr. Throughout the day, we’re taught to read different duas for each separate occasion. Our dealings with those around us have to be honest, fair, and just. Our earnings have to be in accordance to what Allah has made lawful. During our busy day, in the middle of our work, out of submission to Allah, we also make time to pray during noon, afternoon, and sunset. It makes no difference whether one can make it to the Masjid or not, if one lacks access, they may pray wherever they are (whether in the workplace, school, or university). Allah has made the entire world a place of prayer for us as Muslims, as the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) mentions:
جُعِلَتْ لِيَ الأَرْضُ طَهُورًا وَمَسْجِدًا
The earth has been made pure for me and a place of worship. (Sunan Abi Dawud, 489)
Therefore, while we strive daily to attain sustenance, not a single part of the day is spent except that we keep ourselves in some way connected to the one who has absolute control over the very same flow of sustenance. As psychologists of today teach us that eudaimonic happiness, or happiness attained by leading a wholesome life leads to longer lived happiness, a virtuous life in Islam is living with the fear of Allah, being cognizant of the fact that one will have to answer before him one day.
أَفَحَسِبْتُمْ أَنَّمَا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ عَبَثًا وَأَنَّكُمْ إِلَيْنَا لَا تُرْجَعُونَ
Did you think that We created you uselessly and that to Us you would not be returned?”(Quran, 23:115)
While happiness is not our main objective in treading a path of righteousness according to Islam, Allah has still guaranteed happiness to the one who lives a virtuous life, as he says:
مَنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحًا مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَىٰ وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُ حَيَاةً طَيِّبَةً
Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer – We will surely cause him to live a good life (Quran, 16:97)
In Islam, we do not look at this life as the absolute end all be all. We do not see life as an endless struggle to be of use to the environment around us, only to one day die and rot away underground and eventually be forgotten about. The happiness that we seek in Islam is the unlimited, and everlasting happiness of the hereafter. And while doing so, Allah gives us a taste of true sweetness in this life.
أَلَا بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ
Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts do hearts attain peace…
Sheikh Mohammed Mamun serves as a Khatib within the South Atlanta area, and delivers lectures across Masajid in the United States. He is currently studying Psychology and Computer Information Systems at Georgia State University and conducts online classes for Lubab Academy’s Arabic Language program.